“Jeff Koons marry me”: This surprising message appeared in big letters on December 14th on the Renaissance facade of Palazzo Strozzi in Florence, where Koons’s exhibition “Shine” is taking place. More than 100,000 visitors, until now: is it possible that someone (we use the female form, considering the curriculum of the master) between a Rabbit, a Balloon dog and a Hulk has fallen in love to the point of asking for his hand? And in such a blatant and inconsiderate way, too. Maybe - we imagine - the author could also be a new or old flame intent on giving a little push to the elusive beloved. An act of passion, romantic exaltation or, who knows, calculation: whatever the reason behind the beau geste (so to speak) the young lady will have to face justice, provided that the cameras manage to locate her, and the police manage to catch her. In Italy, defacing walls is considered vandalism, punishable with a fine and imprisonment, which can be increased if buildings of historical importance are targeted. The point is that the maximum penalty is (quibbles and exceptions aside) one year imprisonment, which no one ever serves, or a fine of 3000 euros. A modest investment compared to the dream of making the charming - de gustibus - American marry again. After all, Jeff appears quite well for a 67-year-old, is the highest paid and wealthiest living artist.
One could say that he is the classic good match for an ambitious woman looking to settle down with someone who can guarantee financial security, a brilliant social life or, at worst, the 15 minutes of fame that Warhol talked about. But the blessed, naïve and shameless girl has obviously never read Ovidio’s Ars amatoria, Flaubert’s Sentimental Education or Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover. When you aim so high, you need to prepare yourself, go to seduction school, take inspiration, without exaggeration, from Cleopatra, Messalina, Theodora, and Lucrezia Borgia. It is necessary to know that to shock is a lot, but it is not everything. Moreover, if you are aiming at marriage, scarring a monument of inestimable value will not make you more attractive but more dangerous in the eyes of the coveted groom. What is she thinking? Does she really believe that he will let himself be carried away by such indomitable ardor, abandon his second wife, and their six children and run towards her joyfully, ready to pronounce his third fateful yes? Moreover, he has eight children in total: a daughter which he had when he was still student without marryng the mother, and another son from Ilona Staller, aka Cicciolina, his first wife. And it cannot be said, at least according to the news, that he has been generous with the divorce settlement.So,isJeff rich but ungenerous? Character and behavior should also be analyzed before going off balance.
The intrepid maiden is fortunate that the master has remained silent.
